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Prov. 12:4




Sunday Evening Sermon

November 8, 1998

Fair Avenue Baptist Church






A virtuous woman...

Has a good ring to it...

I like the way it sounds...


But notice the contrast.


Virtuous woman - crown


Maketh ashamed - rottenness


“Rottenness in the bones”





Slowly destroying,

Robbing of joy & fulfillment.


How about it, ladies?


Are you a crown or a cancer to your husband?


God made woman for a purpose, a purpose He foreordained before the foundations of the world.  God made woman for a reason.


He gave her a place, not a position.  Pay attention to that statement.  God made her for a reason, a purpose, a place.


The truth is that man is incomplete without her and there is a void that only a woman can fill.


And filling that place is a woman’s greatest strength.


When a woman gets out of her place,

When a woman assumes her independence,

She mistakes her mission and her power.


Even though man was made to rule over the world, he is incomplete without his “help meet.”


And when the woman meets his needs, she becomes his crown.


A woman will never be completely content,

She will never be completely happy,

Nor completely fulfilled,


UNTIL she takes the place that God gave her.


Listen, the woman is to be necessary to her husband, not independent of him.


In Prov. 12:4 we see a contrast.


First, we see the wife who is a crown,

someone people admire,

someone who enhances her husband,

someone who enhances his appearance,

someone who enhances his stature.


Second, we see the wife who is a cancer,

She is like a disease,

She is “as rottenness in his bones,”

someone who detracts,

someone who disables,

someone who embarrasses,

someone who destroys.


Ladies, are you a crown or a cancer?


A crown enhances,

A cancer disables.


Are you enhancing your husband,


Are you disabling?


In the Word of God we will see what God expects from a wife and what a husband deserves.


What does God expect?

What does your husband deserve?

A Crown or a Cancer?


1.       Silent

2.       Subjection

3.       Servant


1.       SILENT


Let me teach you some Biblical principles that will probably shatter your little world.


And let me say from the onset that Biblical teaching and hard preaching are certainly not popular.


Some of you are going to have a hard time with this message.  I just wanted you to know that from the start.


I Tim. 2:11-12, “Let the woman learn in SILENCE with all SUBJECTION.  But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in SUBJECTION.”


I Cor. 14:34, “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.  And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands AT HOME: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”




We have gotten all out of kilter in this matter of women in the church.


Some of you women have gotten out of your place in the church.


The Bible says,

God’s Word says,

The Scriptures says,




Some of you women have run your mouth so much at church about church matters you have become a cancer to your husband.


Some of you women have gotten so far from God’s Word it is ridiculous.


I didn’t make up the verses,

You read them for yourself,

It may not be popular,



In the matter of speaking in tongues,

In the matter of usurping authority,

In this matter of being over a man,

In this matter of subjection,



And some of you women have become a cancer to your husband,


Always running your mouth about this and that,


Always complaining and undermining,


And it is against the Bible,

It is against God’s Word,

And it is wrong.







This is a most unpopular subject.


But it is in the Bible.


How many Bible verses do you want?


Gen. 1:26

Notice the word “dominion.”

Man was to have dominion over everything.


Gen. 2:18

Notice the words “help meet.”


Eve was created to “help meet” the needs of Adam.


Gen. 3:16

“and thy DESIRE shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”


Is it your desire to help meet the needs of your husband?  If not, then you are a cancer.


You are “rottenness in his bones.”


Is it your desire that your husband rule over you?  If not, then you are a cancer.


You are “rottenness in his bones.”


The Book of Proverbs has a lot to say about the wife.


Prov. 11:16, “A gracious woman retaineth honour.”


Are you a gracious woman?

Are you an honourable woman?


Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”


Are you a good thing?

Did your husband obtain the favour of the Lord?


Does your husband consider it a “GOOD” thing that he married you?


Does your husband consider it “FAVOUR” that he married you?


Do you even care?

Probably not.


A Cancer or a Crown?


Prov. 31:27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”


How about it, ladies?


Are you taking care of the household?


Should we load up on the buses tonight and go to your house and give it an inspection?


Oh, I see, that is an area of contention.

Oh, I see, you don’t keep the house in order.

Oh, I see, this is a touchy subject.


Are you eating too much bread of idleness?



Does your household run smoothly?

Probably not.


What is the atmosphere around your house?  Is it good or bad?  Is it pleasant or tense?


“She looketh well to the ways of her household.”


How are you doing, ladies?


Cancer or Crown?



I Peter 3:1-4


VERSE 1    be in subjection


Ma’am, are you in subjection?

If not, then you are not right with God.


VERSE 2    chaste conversation


Ma’am, are you living a clean life?

Are you living a pure life?

Conversation means “lifestyle.”

Are you living a clean and pure life
coupled with fear?”


VERSE 3    adorning


What adorns your life?




If some of you women spent as much time on your inward beauty as you try to do with your outward beauty, you wouldn’t be a cancer to your husband.


VERSE 4    meek and quiet spirit


Is your spirit “meek and quiet?”

Or is that a joke?


I’m afraid it has gotten so bad that we are actually fulfilling Scripture - the wrong ones.


Prov. 19:13, “...and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”


Prov. 21:9, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”


Prov. 25:24, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”


Apparently those 700 wives started getting to Solomon.


Prov. 27:15, “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”


That verse is a commentary on Prov. 19:13.


Let me ask you a personal question.


Would your husband rather spend a weekend with you - all by yourself - or with the guys at the deer lease?


When was the last time your husband spent a weekend, or a few days, alone with you, just you?


Cancer or Crown?


As my granddaddy would say, “Nuff said.”


And one more thing about this matter of subjection - you were hoping I would get through with this, weren’t you?


One more area I want to touch on.


I Tim. 2:9-10


VERSE 9    “modest apparel”

VERSE 10  “adorned with good works”


Now, with that in mind turn to Ruth 1:16-17.


“Intreat me”


PLEASE, allow me,

PLEASE, I’m begging you,

Where you go, I’ll go,

Where you live, I’ll live,

Your people will be my people,

Your God will be my God,


Is that the attitude of the 20th century Christian woman?




Focus on that phrase, “and thy God my God.”


And remember to tie in I Tim. 2:9 and the “modest apparel.”


Are you and your husband in agreement over this matter of “modest apparel?”


Have you asked him?

Or do you even care?


1.       SILENT



3.       SERVANT


What kind of wife does your husband deserve?


Rom. 16:1-3, 6, 12


VERSE 1    servant of the church


VERSE 3    helpers in Christ Jesus


VERSE 6    much labour


VERSE 12  which laboured much


Don’t you think your husband deserves a wife who is a servant in the church?


A helper in Christ Jesus?


A wife who “labours” in the Lord?


How could that possibly be wrong?



Our country needs,

Our churches need,

The Fair Ave Baptist Church needs,


three things from the wives:






One last statement:


If you have to ask yourself if you are a crown or a cancer, you already know the answer.

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